I need some help and your HONEST opinion. You can do it anonymously if you feel more comfortable.
Matthew is about to turn two and we are having a birthday for him. I don't really feel he is old enough to understand the whole gift thing so I am thinking of asking people not to bring gifts. Is this rude to do? Plus, I feel during this time with the economy that there are other people who are more in need.
I was also thinking of maybe asking them to bring food donations for our local food bank or a book for a woman's shelter instead of gifts. Is that rude?
Would you still feel like you should bring a gift? Would you be annoyed you were told what to bring? Should I just not put anything on the invitation? PLEASE help me. I need to send out invitations soon.
Thank you!
14 comments:
I like your idea of donating things. What you might think about doing is collecting kids toys (since they're so much fun to buy, and also it's a kid's party) for a local shelter. Matt might be too young for this but you may be able to involve Gabe in helping you take the toys over to the shelter--to help little boys and girls who don't have any toys themselves. What do you think?
Or--you could just go the "Your presence but no presents" route :-)
OH--and if you're worried that people may not be able to afford the added expense for a present, you could say something like "Any toys received will be donated to a local kids shelter" or "If you feel comfortable, we will be collecting toys in lieu of presents to donate to a kids shelter."
I'm all for that!! I think people would love it.
I totally agree with eveyone else! I think it is such a great idea to donate. If someone gets offended about not bringing a present for Matt then they "really" needed you to do this. It will only help them. What a good example for Gabe.
i have two opinions.
1. i like to take my kids to the store to chose something special for their friend that they would like. two might be young, but if the attendees are 2 1/2, it's totally do able.
2. we went to a party for twins that didn't need any presents but instead asked for things that could be donated to the local animal shelter - with ideas listed. that was kind of fun because we could get more expensive things like food or fun dog/cat toys that are super cheap. those also weren't toys that my kids wanted to keep, so there were NO tears! all you have to do is contact the local shelter to see what they need. don't know if he likes animals, but most two year olds do...
ps - okay, so i lied - for gifts we usually give cash or gift cards because i can't make a decision and worry too much if the child will like it. although we have done #1 and the kids loved to do it. instead we walk up and down the aisles and talk about what we like and what _________ might like. then i gently suggest that we give them money and let them pick their own gift because then they can get exactly what they want, and isn't that fun?! :) with animals i didn't have the inner struggle on if they would like it not - okay, so just maybe a little bit... it's probably time for me to end this post now!
I think that it is a good idea! I don't know how Nana will feel about it, but I won't be offended.
Great suggestions so far! Thanks everyone. I will let you know what I end up doing.
I would not feel obligated to bring a gift if you said something on the invite that gifts are not necessary and any toys received will be donated to childre in need, etc. I would totally bring a toy for that purpose - for a donation.
Not rude at all! Most of my friends who have invited us to their 2 year olds bday have said no presents and I took no offense. If people (like grandparents) want to bring presents anyway, they can, but it lets others off the hook who might be financially struggling. I think if people get offended they just need to relax.
Great idea no pressure! I think people actually appriciate (sp?) when other do this!
Love this idea - especially when they are so young!
Since you asked for really honest opinions I hope you don't mind I'll mention Miss Manners says no gift instructions belong on an invitation http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=8318987. So if you're really into etiquette that might matter to you. But seriously, I bet she doesn't have 10 two year olds coming to a party these days so I would absolutely break the rule. If anyone feels that they must give something to him, they will probably just bring something anyway.
Hope the party is tons of fun!!
Nana does not mind. She will get Matty gifts on a different day.
Thank you everyone.
And Jennifer, I totally read what Miss Manners says and agree that you should not have any gift instructions on invitations. But I decided that this time it would be okay. So I went against my own better judgement.
Nana, that is completely fine. I figured family would probably want to get him a gift.
I will put a picture up of the invitations later today.
oh brother! farrah i am so disappointed. i have kim visiting me and she told me some very disturbing news! she told me that you are voting liberal. i am ashamed. but i still love. i am not just rightwing. i have crossed over to the darkside before and voted democrat, but then i repented. i hope you will do the same before november 4. oh yeah, go palin!! who cares about the three other liberals in the election. :)
your cousin,
-Kenneth
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